Counseling Center
- Home Page
- Mission and Purpose
- Services
- Professional Staff
- Support Staff
- Helpful Links
- Upcoming Events & Presentations
Self-Help Information
PERFECTIONISM
VS.
WHOLENESS
PERFECTIONISM vs. WHOLENESS
We have greater emotional peace when we let go of perfectionism and focus instead on wholeness. The following chart contrasts the pain of perfectionism with a life focused on the peace that derives from wholeness.
PERFECTIONISM |
WHOLENESS |
Unreasonable goals |
Obtainable, realistic goals |
Self-worth is based on achievements |
Self-worth is inherent |
Can't feel satisfied |
Can reward self |
Based on comparisons with others |
Recognizes individual uniqueness |
Feels unloved and invalidated unless performing well; cannot share mistakes without excessive shame |
Accepts self as valuable while acknowledging human weakness |
Chronically experiences excessive fear of failure |
Can accept failure as part of learning process; able to keep trying |
External standards for success |
Goals derived from inner awareness |
Goals exceed performance by a great degree |
Goals reflect growth to the next stage of progressive development |
Cannot find pleasure in progress toward the goal; focus is only on the outcome |
Enjoys the "journey" |
Emphasis is on keeping life in control |
Emphasis is on keeping life in balance |
